hibiscustea: (sour/sweet)

I have never been good with change, particularly any sort of large-scale change. It paralyzes me, pins me with indecision and traps me between possibilities. It terrifies me, steals breath from by chest with a soft flutter of feathers in my throat; my breath, and my voice. I become mute, unable to articulate what I want, or don't want, or haven't even considered yet.

Usually, I try to ease myself into it gradually--I'm a cautious person by nature and I try to make sure I've thought of everything before making any sort of decision--but sometimes that simply isn't possible. The world moves too fast; I can't keep pace.

I thought I'd have more time.

I can finish my degree by taking five courses over the summer; of those five, only four are required. Three would be abbreviated three-week-long courses, and two would be two-month long. The four I need all run from May til July, which is why I need the fifth class. The fifth class would run from the start of July until August--and that would give me the three-consecutive months of school needed for loans. The alternative is, of course, to take three over the summer, and then three in the fall (why three when only one would be needed to complete my degree? Because three is the minimum required for student loans). I could be starting my Master's program as early as September. Either way, I will be finished by December, at the latest.

I am destabilized. It seems like no matter what choice I end up making, I must pick-apart the meager stitches I've already knit so as to reassemble these threads in a new city, a new school, and start again.

hibiscustea: (Default)

Que Houxo paints in neon and blacklight

I can't believe that it's already November. Dear Lord. I have no idea where the time has gone, literally. I'm roughly three weeks away from having to hand in my projects, some of which I've made zero progress on. What. I mean. I don't even.

I gave a talk today. I think it went well; at least, it certainly went better than the talk I gave last week. No shaking or crying. Just talking too fast, and not concisely enough. I think it was okay though. I'm glad it's over. I'm glad I won't have to do it again. I know that time is the only thing that will make me a better public speaker, time and practice, but it still terrifies me even when I know (or think I know) what I'm talking about.

We are housing the Tiny Ginger Interloper again. He's going to be with us 'til Sunday(?) I think. I may post pictures.

hibiscustea: (concentration)
So, I've borrowed my Mum's copy of the first season of Mad Men, and holy hell, the soundtrack is deadly. Also, it is one of the prettiest piece of cinematographic work I've seen in a long time. Also also--the opening sequence is fantastic.

In other news, I got some sort of incourse scholarship for my summer classes.I still need to apply for scholarships/bursaries for the fall, this was a really pleasant surprise. So far, in terms of fall courses, I've signed up for four seminars (I know, I know, way too many seminars): Post-War Modern BC Architecture (with Dr. T; apparently we'll be wandering around the city every other Friday looking at buildings), The Domestic Interior of 1500-1750 in Renaissance Italy, Honours Seminar (required course), and Art and Revolution.

I think I need to drop one of the classes. I've heard from several people that four seminars is one too many. However, I really don't want to drop any of them. I guess I'll just wait out the first week and see which of the courses is the least interesting (or, alternatingly, the most work). Bah.

In other news, my mother has bought a new (well, a new used) car, and I shall inherit the Mazda. It'll be nice to have a car again. My biggest concern with having a car, is the financial drain it will be on my bank account. I'll figure something out, I'm sure, but it is a concern.
hibiscustea: (chill)
So, for the past little while I've been having trouble with my computer. It will power-off at odd periods, and the screen will just die/fizz out at random. It's also been getting very, very hot to the touch; I think the overheating has something to do with the problems.

However, it has also been running so incredibly slowly for everything. I've done deep system sweeps almost weekly, and make sure to never run more than two (sometimes three) programs at once. I've also stripped the machine down to the basic functions, and even started using Google Chrome because FireFox (my browser of choice) was using 120 MB of memory while Chrome only uses 20. (The functionality of Chrome is insane--it runs so well, and, for the most part, is wonderfully stable. However, it is terribly unattractive. A shallow complaint, to be sure, but ...)

I just don't know. I don't have the money to replace the computer, at all. At the same time, I realize I may not be able to save it: it's an old computer, second hand when bought, and now at least five years old. It may actually have just run its lifespan. That makes me incredibly sad; I love my little blue laptop. It's the perfect size, and it does (or did, at this rate) everything I needed it to do, which wasn't terribly much in the first place.

I have no idea what I'm going to do. Nicholas is going to poke around in it and see if he can't fix it (or at the very least make it die more slowly). I have a feeling, though, that Yoshima (yes, I named my computer after a Flaming Lips album) won't last out the year. Possibly not even the first month of school.

The recording of the Compugeddon will continue as it happens.
hibiscustea: (refreshmint)

So, I drove Nicholas and two of the other band members up Island for their gig last night; they didn't start playing until 10:30, and the headliner (Wax Mannequin) wasn't going to actually go on until, oh lord, at least midnight or 1 AM. We didn't have a place to stay, so we were going to head back to Vic that night, and once we learned that--if we stayed for the whole gig--we wouldn't be out of there until at least 2 AM, we bailed. Everyone was tired, and the appeal of getting back into town by 3:30/4 AM was minimal. However, it was a good show, the little of it that I saw, and Nicholas' group sounded really good. It's just a pity we couldn't stay for the whole show.
hibiscustea: (Default)
TWO DOWN ONE TO GO. By the time this semester is over I will have written more than 23600 words for school. I am sleeping all day Thursday and there is no way in hell I am getting out of bed.

NYU Student Conducts Most Adorable Robot Experiment Ever

Tisch School of the Arts student Kacie Kinzer created the tweenbot as a kind of art experiment. In her words:
I wondered: could a human-like object traverse sidewalks and streets along with us, and in so doing, create a narrative about our relationship to space and our willingness to interact with what we find in it? More importantly, how could our actions be seen within a larger context of human connection that emerges from the complexity of the city itself? To answer these questions, I built robots.
hibiscustea: (pause.)
Okay, so, this will certainly be old-hat to some on my flist, but I thought that all exposure on this particular subject was good exposure.

In short, Amazon.com has been stripping GLBT books of their ranking by labeling them as adult, which effectively removes them from site searches. [livejournal.com profile] rydra_wong has a post summing up the situation. [livejournal.com profile] markprobst has more details. [livejournal.com profile] asknosecrets has a put up a Roundup Post.

I think this deserves an OH JOHN RINGO NO.
hibiscustea: (Breakfast at Tiffany's)
As pointless as I realize it may be, I'm starting another journal called [livejournal.com profile] hibiscustea for my personal life. I will still be using this journal for various things, but I have the hopes that [livejournal.com profile] hibiscustea will be mostly for personal RL stuff.
hibiscustea: (Breakfast at Tiffany's)
... Quick, does anyone know the physical dimensions of Antonio Gaudi's Casa Mila (aka La Pedrera)?
hibiscustea: (WTF!?)
My eyes are starting to burn from having to keep them open, I've rented out just about a zillion bad movies today (which causes me Woe and Angst at an existential level--why oh why can't people have good taste?) which isn't helping the eye-burning situation nor the tick in my left cheek, been bawled out by too many "outraged" customers at having late fees ("We got it in today, so what if it's after 9 and it's unlikely you'll rent it out because it's so late in the evening? You aren't really still going to charge me, are you?" YES. THE RETURN TIME IS 6. WE'LL HOLD OFF LATE FEES TIL 9. IF IT'S AFTER 9, YOU'RE OUT OF LUCK. SORRY. DEAL.) and I have managed to kill the TV.

So leaving that for the morning person tomorrow. Poor Suzie.

... Thank god Nicholas is coming down tomorrow.
hibiscustea: (Default)
Today I was bequeathed with 20 boxes of old VHS tapes by my boss.


How was everyone else's day?
hibiscustea: (Default)
Work is screwing around with me. Again.

hibiscustea: (Default)
So, I nearly died today at work. Except, you know, that's a huge exaggeration. Probably would have only broken something. Maybe. BUT! It is not an exaggeration that I tripped on nothing and proceeded to fall down a flight of stairs on to hot, hard asphalt, and banged up my ankle pretty damned badly.


The bonus is that I get tomorrow off, for certain.
hibiscustea: (Breakfast at Tiffany's)
Praise sweet baby Jeebus! I'm done school. For two months.

See how I added that qualifier in there?

I also believe it worth noting that I had an AWESOME AWESOMELY AWESOME past couple days. I'm also considering buying bowls. Pretty bowls. And possibly a sake set. And a hammock.
hibiscustea: (Breakfast at Tiffany's)
"I'm not sure what you mean. I don't know if what you're saying means anything." -- Teodor (Achewood)
Those two sentences pretty much encapsulate my entire morning. Philosophy at 9am? Maybe not such a good idea. An introductory course done in 6 weeks? Definitely maybe not such a good idea.

Oh, it's bizarrely interesting, don't get me wrong, but it's a lot of work to cover in a short amount of time. Or maybe I'm just lazy.

It could very well be that.

Also--in random, trivial news--watched The Family Stone last night; it was certainly odd to be watching a Christmas-set movie at this time of year. Wasn't all that funny, either, I found. Best scene was the brothers' mad dash through the house, with slapping and jacket-pulling. It was a nice jacket. Very tweedy.

And my God. My neck looks diseased. All because someone ( ... you know who you are.) had to use it as a chew-toy for the weekend. Bleh. I need more sleep, obviously.
hibiscustea: (Default)
Note to Self:
Though the phase "the idler pulley seized up and took out the timing belt as it went down" sounds neat, it's really not. It's expensive. $500 dollars expensive. There goes my wild weekend in Vegas.
hibiscustea: (Default)
Every now and then it really hits me, I mean really hits me: I have a boy, a boyfriend--I have someone. Incredible. The idea still lights a glow in me every time I think about it.

This past grrr--I have so not been behind the eightball this week, it's not even funny. I've been late for just about everything 23rd of March has marked six months. Six months. Six wonderful months that have floated by far too quickly.

Looking back, it seems strange that I have ever not known Nicholas. It's humbling how important a person can become in such a relatively short span of time. And he's very important to me.

If I've learned anything over the short, chaotic course of my life, it's to cherish the good things and be grateful for them--never disregard them or neglect them. I can't say that I've always abided by these rules; I've made some stupid mistakes that have cost me friendships and relationships, either through neglect or disregard or both.

But by God, I know enough to know a good thing when I'm neck deep in it. I'm not called Miss Oblivious for nothing! ^^;

And, in honour of the day, I have uploaded a bunch of songs for download! I tried to stay away from overly sappy songs, and I think I have a good mix of upper beat ones mixed with the slower, softer ballad-y ones. I had no particular theme in mind, and these songs are just songs that bring a smile to my face and a hum to my lips.

Enjoy! )
hibiscustea: (in blue)
Why do I have the oddest sinking feeling about our ferry system?
hibiscustea: (Default)
I like school. I do. I enjoy learning. I enjoy the readings. I enjoy lectures. (No, really. Stop laughing: I can hear you.)


Being at school from 8am til 7:30pm, well, that's stretching it, even for me. And, I don't think the five-and-a-bit hours of sleep I got really helped all that much--though it was totally self-inflicted.

Because my classes ended a while ago, I ended up browsing the site of one of my favorite authors, Peter Watts. The result being that "The Second Coming of Jasmine Fitzgerald" ate my brain. So, I thought I'd share.

The Second Coming of Jasmine Fitzgerald by Peter Watts.

Beside the desk, Russell's printer extrudes a paper tongue. He pulls it free and hands it over.

"So God's a supercomputer at the end of time? And we'll all be resurrected in the mother of all simulation models?"

"Well--" Russell wavers. The caricature seems to cause him physical pain. "I suppose so," he finishes, reluctantly. "In thirty words or less, as you say."

Edit: And, if there is any reason in the world for you to love this man it is because he has nearly his complete back-catalog up at his site, for free reading.
hibiscustea: (Default)
Dear LJ:

1. Wolf Parade Is Eating My Brain. Wah! I caved and bought the album! I was doing sooo well too; I'd only bought 1 other CD in the past, um, week? ... I think I have a problem Downloadables will follow shortly.

2. I Have Survived The Quiz. (However, I know for a fact that I screwed up at least two things; the title on one of the Paleolithic paintings and the actual depth at which the burial chamber under a mastaba sits. This will gnaw on me until I get the stupid thing back. Fuck.)

3. I <3 my English Prof.

4. I need to read more Leonard Cohen.

Love Esme.


hibiscustea: (Default)

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